The Cowboy’s wife

After some  years into my marriage,  I made a phone call to  three other Horsewomen  I knew. It turns out that the phone call would change my marriage forever.

The phone call went something like this. “I want to start a prayer group to pray for my husband, otherwise I am going to file for a divorce.”

To my surprise, the other three women instantly agreed saying almost the same thing about the Cowboys in their lives.

Within a week, we meet and one of the wives had picked out a book that we might enjoy reading. It was an older book that was out of print and it was hard to find.  The book was “How to be the wife of a happy husband”.  There was also a counterpart to the book, well you guess it,  How to be the husband of a happy wife.

WARNING:: Do not read either of these books unless you are ready to change the person within.

By the time I got to the end of the first chapter, I was in tears knowing just how bad of an ass I had been to my husband.  I had no idea that some of the things I was doing to him in the words of the book “Was castrating him!

I had married a great and very honorable Cowboy, who had proven to me many times over that he would stand his ground, no matter what winds blow our way; protect and provide for his family.  I just had forgot about all those moments as the years had moved forward in our marriage.

What I learned from that book was to take responsibility for my  part in our marriage, both the good and the bad.  What I learned even more is the fact that it was not the marriage that I was unhappy with, but myself and my own life.

At the time, we had money problems, kid problems, horse problems,  and both of us had job problems.  How easy I found it to blame the one person who was the closest to me, my Cowboy.

I spent more than a few nights crying reading that book.  Even more so,  at the prayer group, we spent more time praying for change within ourselves, than we ever did for our husbands.    That book, made me grow-up and become a Real Cowboy’s wife to one of the best Cowboy I ever had the privilege to know.

We spent another 10 years together before he  became sick  with terminal cancer.  I often ask myself, “what if”.   What if I had never read that crazy book.  I think that I would have missed some of the best years of my life.

It is easy, during these trying times, to forget what a blessing we can be as the Cowboy’s wife.  We, as the female around the ranch can be such a blessing  sometimes by saying nothing.

I recommend instead of anger or a fight,  grab your cowboy, your favorite horse, and go for a ride.   Then wait.  Wait for your heart to open and remember that your Cowboy hurts too, even if he will never tell you that.

Here is my  guarantee.  If you open your heart up and forget about the ego trying to make someone right and someone wrong, you will find  the love all over again.

Sometimes. I think I would trade my very soul for one less fight for just one more ride together.   Can you image, if  I had started writing  Daily Oats, when my husband was alive?   I can see us both heading to the barn, letting out more whinys than all of the horses put together.

Today, let the whiny be for someone you love.  Perhaps, someone you need to forgive.  Remember this, if there is someone in your life that you need to forgive, it is usually something within ourselves that we need to forgive first.

Don’t wait, this life does end, so make all our ending the best ones you can imagine.

Charlie, he is a morning whiny, sweetie, just for you.  The biggest one I have got yet.


I left out the names of the other Cowboys wives, because I know that at least one of them reads Daily Oats. I am hoping she will say hi.  (hay, Terry, I hope you tell them what you learned)

Daily Oats: Food for the Horse lover’s soul

Love Roberta

Roberta Edstrom

Sharing the connection to you with our amazing equine  gifts,  inspirational Cowgirl jewelry and authentic horse hair accessories.

We just started a Daily Oats group on Facebook, mosey on over and post your inspirational story or one of your favorite horse quotes.

So ride on over to read Inspirational  quotes for horse lovers, Daily Oats on Facebook

Another  great horse story: Prince is nominated for Knot-A-Tail’s  honored equine.  Read how  Prince helped a terminally ill girl. Read Prince’s story on Knot-A-Tail’s Honored Equine page

To nominate a horse that you know, send your nomination to

Published in: on March 28, 2010 at 8:10 pm  Comments (1)  
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One CommentLeave a comment

  1. Your story about the cowboys wife is far beyond any words that I can find to say. I don’t know that I’m the Terri you talked about but it sure fit this gal as well. Funny how the years can make us wake up and realize what truely is important to us.

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