The rearing horse

Daily Oats: food for the horse lover’s soul

In my more youthful days, I purchased a 3 year old Paint filly from a neighbor that was a good friend.   The lite brown and white filly was well breed,  stocky built, and  nice looking.    Because  my  friend  was very delighted  that her filly was at our home she did give me a good deal on her.

But from day one.  that Paint filly and I did not see eye to eye at all.   Her answer to most  everything was to stand on her hind legs and paw in the air.

I will admit, a rearing horse just is not something I am willing to deal with, in fact I am afraid of  a horse that will not keep their front feet on the ground.    However one of the employees loved her and started to work with her and soon she offered to buy her.  I just never seemed to be able to trust her, so I sold the filly to the girl that worked for me.

The neighbor lady  that I purchased the Paint filly  from was totally put off with me and the fight between us quickly began.  We both drew from the straight  from hip  and started  firing as fast as we could.

Did I happen to ever mention that used to have a bad temper?

I totally let me ego have it’s way  and I let things get way out of hand.  Lots and I do mean lots, of words crossed both our lips and none of them were very nice.

I was headed to a horse show the next weekend and I knew she would be there.   She always said her butt was big, so I brought my long lens camera and  hide behind a horse trailer.  Can you imagine hiding behind a horse trailer waiting for someone to bend over to get a snap shot.

I know,  that is a just plain too  ridiculous, but that is what me and my bad temper did.   So there I sat and I waited for her to bend over to put on her chaps.  I figured if she wanted to be an “as_”, I would show every one just how big it was.  (it really wasn’t)  Like I said, things got way out of hand.

The horse show was on Sunday,  and the next morning my husband headed for work.   As he passed a construction site, he saw my friend’s husband and construction  crew working in almost 100 degree heat.   My husband, being the amazing man he was,  turned around and went and purchased ice cold pop for the entire construction crew.

My husband, did not say a word except, he thought he looked like he could use a cold drink.

When the fight first  started, my husband listened, but did not say a word about who was right or wrong, just that he was sorry that the entire thing happened.    He did not try to change my mind, of tell me that I was wrong, he just listened.

When he came home that night and told me what he had done, I stood in silence.  Then the tears started to fall.   I  felt at the moment that I was looking at greatness and knew that I wanted that in my life.  No right or wrong,  just forgiveness, unconditional love  and complete  understanding.

I was not only mad, I was outraged but I was wrong.  The fact is,  she had a right to her opinion,  she had a right to have her say, she had a right to her feelings.   It was my responsibility to Cowgirl-up and be understanding and just say I was sorry.

What would have that hurt for me just to say I was sorry?

A true Cowgirl always, and I mean always takes full responsibility for every thing that happens in her life.   That is where the true power for change comes from.

Until I took responsibility for my own actions there was no room for a way to solve the problem and correct the course of my life.  I was outraged for about a week.

What a waste of time.   What a waste of the love in my heart.   What a waste of a friendship.

My husband always kept a “I’m sorry” in his pocket.  He used it on me hundreds of times.   Think about it  an “I’m sorry” will  instantly stop a fight.   Who can agree with an “I’m sorry?   Many times, he knew I was in  the wrong, but he let me figure that out.   Because of my husband’s greatness in never getting offended and taking responsibility for everything in his life,  he silently lead to me being a better person.

He could have told me a hundred times that day, I was wrong and I would have not listened, but it was in his example of being an extraordinary human being, looking not at the problem but focused on a solution, that changed my life.

I now carry that “I’m sorry” in my own saddle bags.

I never saddle up  without it.

For today, lead not by words, that are so easily handed out, but lead by example.  Not only to your family, but to everyone around you.

My daughter’s favorite saying is “it is not what you say that they will remember, it is how you make them feel’.   Being responsible, saying I am sorry, brings love, understanding  and honor to everyone.

Don’t waste time like I did being so mad and upset, that your life becomes a little ridiculous or in my case a lot.

Be the whinny, and Cowgirl-up with a smile on your face and  just take full responsibility for everything in your life.  That way, you can change your life to be the one of your dreams and bring greatness into your own heart.

Remember, a Cowgirl’s heart always has a heart full of hope and a smile  full of laughter.

Change your life and be  the whinny!  Greet the world like your horse greet’s you as if there is no tomorrow.

Now, let me hear it,  WHINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNY!!

Daily Oats: Food for the Horse lover’s soul

I love  you, Roberta

Roberta Edstrom
CEO
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Published in: on January 28, 2010 at 5:44 pm  Comments (9)  
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9 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I love your honesty and insights. A valuable lesson to us all. (Although I’m not sure that my 16 yr old daughter ever hears an “I’m sorry”. LOL)

  2. This is so timely, Roberta. Thank YOU. I wonder if I have already said “I’m sorry.” And I have tried to show my sorrow through actions, which have not been appreciated….The situation is so out of hand at this point in time, and I am not even sure if the other person said or thinks his or her actions warrant an “I’m sorry.” But, I do know I was wrong…:) Actions speak louder than words, don’t they…..? Thanks again, Roberta…..We always learn through mistakes that we can apply to new people and situations if the prior people no longer matter or in our lives….

  3. Love it!

  4. That is a great story to share….because it is so true of how we all ‘should’ act, (by accepting someone’s feelings without getting offended). And, what an awesome husband you have! (does he have a brother? lol).

  5. I agree with everything you said EXCEPT:
    “The fact is, she had a right to her opinion, she had a right to have her say, she had a right to her feelings. It was my responsibility to Cowgirl-up and be understanding and just say I was sorry.”

    Everyone has a right to an opinion and their own feelings – that IS a fact, BUT that doesn’t give them the right to verbally beat people up with them. That would be saying that I could yell and scream, belittle and put down my child for maybe cleaning her room the way I think it should be done-but it still got done. The only “right” we have is to discuss or have a conversation with others if they are open to it about our differences of opinion – our differences of opinion do not entitle us to be abusive and nasty to each other. Horse people are too often know it alls and pig head, because many of us run on emotion instead of reality concerning our horses and THIS should really be a deciding factor in how we treat each other concerning our horses and should also be the way we treat our horses. KCashatt

  6. Great reminder for us all, and rather Biblical as well! 🙂

    WHINNNYYYYY and a few nickers for good measure.

  7. yup – been there – done that….%-)

  8. I will have to remember these words….Cowgirl-Up and take full responsibility for everything and say I’m Sorry! I have a horrible temper too and my mouth really can get out of control. I will have to remember what you have said. Maybe next time it will keep me out of so much trouble.
    🙂 Whinnnnny!

  9. Unfortunately, sometimes we are conditioned to stop saying “I’m sorry” when we finally figure out no amount of groveling is enough to satisfy the other person. Where the offender is a repeat offender who thinks that saying a flippant “I’m sorry” is like a free pass to continue offending, I might understand. But some people will continue to treat you like dirt even after a sincere, heartfelt “I’m sorry.” Which is really sad when those people behave like that towards their children and spouses.

    Congratulations on learning how to control your temper. Some people are proud of how easily they anger and use temper tantrums as a way to intimidate and control other people. They become addicted to the adrenaline generated by temper tantrums.


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