The roundpen

Daily Oats: food for the horse lovers soul

I bought my husband a horse shortly after we were married.   She was  a very, bright red sorrel, well  breed Quarter horse mare named Robyn. She was such a brilliant red, that when the sun was rising, she match the morning’s first light.  Her mane and tail exactly matched her brilliant red coat.  It was as if she was on fire.

It was early spring and the flies were just starting to arrive.    My husband was trying to get ready to go on a trail ride with some friends.   He had her tied to the outside of  the  round pen while  he brushed and saddle her.    I noticed him come into the barn and grab the bottle of bug spray and head back outside.

All of a sudden there was a  loud commotion and within seconds I heard  the sound of a horse running past the full length of the barn and head up the driveway.  When I glanced out the  large front barn doors,  I  could only stand and watched  my husband’s  saddled, bridle-less, riderless petrified  mare  run down the road.

We quickly realized that my husband new horse thought the bug spray was a supper sized hissing snake and decided to leave the territory as quickly as possible breaking her halter in the process.

Charlie spent the next hour  gathering  her up.   Needless to say, it was a long walk.  He  put her in the round pen and came and asked me for a little help.

To get Robyn  past her  fears  does not require any  emotional response on my  part.  Within a short period of time in the round pen, she had faced her fears.  Robyn  was able to accept being sprayed without breaking any more halters  or creating her own stampede.

Now if I can only remember this in my personal life.   When someone is handing me a load of crap, I need to remember it is all fear based.   Fear is   the one element and emotion behind most of the crap I  get handed in this life, and it is the same  cause of why I can, at times, so totally dish it out.

Unfortunately,  I find it extremely hard to remember  and not let me ego get in the way, when someone is dishing it out.  It is at that moment, I need the round pen.

The bottom line  is  when someone is standing in front of me, yelling, screaming and caring on, it  is just  fear leaking out.  That person in front of me  having that temper tantrum,  just like my husband’s mare, is just so afraid at that moment  that all hell breaks lose.

The great part is,  if I  can remember it is only fear, then I do not need to get emotionally connected.   If I  can  look past their reaction, and remember, at that moment they can not face what is bothering them, then I  do not need to react to it. If I can look past the surface,   I get to see the human emotion that is so deep in all of us, FEAR.

How my life changes when I can remember that. I do not have to spend the rest of the day being pissed off and playing the victim.   How great is that?

When  it is me that is having the breakdown, then I just need to put myself in the round pen and ask, “What am I so afraid of that I am willing to hurt another person with my behavior?  What fear is in me that I am so willing to add pain to another person’s life?”

I hate to admit this, but I really need the round pen when I do not feel as if someone is not accepting me just the way I am.  Worse yet,  I fully realize that this kind of a reaction is lack of self confidence on my part.  Just like my husband’s mare,  I need some one to put me in the round pen until I get it!!! I would so love to “GET THIS” in my life time.

Well, as you  can see, I too still  need some round pen training.   Do they make round pens for humans?

Remember, just be the whinny: greeting the world like your horse greets you.

Daily Oats: Food for the Horse lover’s soul

Roberta Edstrom

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Published in: on December 21, 2009 at 1:36 pm  Comments (5)  
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5 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I love your work Roberta. To sit here and read it I can relate to so much of it. Keep the work up, and may many horse lovers enjoy it!

    Merry Christmas, and Happy Holidays.

  2. loved the “roundpen” boy did I ever need to hear this and to apply it. Thanks for the inspiration.

  3. That’s great!! Somedays I need the round pen too LOL I’m sure my hubby would agree with that!
    Merry Christmas and keep up the great work!

  4. Great post! Now I know where to put myself. Thanks.

  5. I got this note from one of my students today, and I had to send her your blog note from today. It seemed so fitting. Thanks,
    Is it possible to have my hubbies email added to the chat list?
    He is most difficult this week, and I thought if he read the assignments and tips from the other ladies, he might understand what I have been trying to suggest.
    Today, he shouts orders to our son in regards to what chores need to be done, then my son bursts into tears, and they both have an argument shouting back at each other with the horses and animals in the barn listening to this.
    Then my husband wonders why the young mustang we have is being impatient with him and is dancing circles around him while on the lead rope coming out of the barn. He was going to clean her pen with her out of it.
    I once tried to mention in a soft voice that the animals pick up on the tone and the shouting. But hubby answered me very loudly and continued on.
    I had to leave the barn and area to just get a fresh mind with the two of them not getting along and wondering why the horses are misbehaving?!
    I thought it might do them good to read the assignments on your chat group first hand, to help them develop good habits besides me. I have tried sharing them, but it does not seem to be coming across well.

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